


Living is Harder

by SydneyFlaire



Series: Bayani Universe [2]
Category: Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral (2018)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Brothers, Childhood Friends, Different perspectives, Gen, Retelling, Same Scene, friends - Freeform, from the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 06:30:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16112774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SydneyFlaire/pseuds/SydneyFlaire
Summary: Due to the trauma of everything that had happened up until this point, Goyo suffers from his visions; almost leading him to drown. A retelling of an iconic part of the movie from four different POVs.





	1. Gregorio del Pilar

_Blood..._

Since Kakarong de Sili, blood had been a sickening sight for Goyo. He hated it just as how much he hated the sight of wars and the sound of the sizzling bullets. But fate pushed him to be blinded and deafened by it. The trauma remained, and everything he had done will always haunt him.

Like those words of Manuel Bernal, mocking him.

_"Tahol, Goyo. Tahol."_

He closed his eyes, shaking his head to remove the memory. The more he suppressed them, the clearer they became. The more he wanted to forget, the more it was imprinted.

An eagle screeched, causing him to open his eyes in shocked. Lifting his head, he realized that it had been midday. And when he tried to sit up, he grunted in pain instead. Something stopped his movements just as he felt cold hands closing around his ankles, dragging him down. He tried to swat the hands, but his hands won't even reached them; instead, his hands reached out for his face, meeting the skin of his neck and feeling them wet with hot blood.

His chest heaved. He wanted to scream, but his throat felt tight. Blood bubbled from the open wound as he was left looking at the sight above, helplessly searching for that eagle. His mouth opened, desperate for the sound of his voice.

Desperate to  _breathe_.

But instead of a shout. A howl— _bark_  of a dog—escalated from deep down his throat.

_It hurts_... He thought as he closed his eyes instantly. Hands hopelessly clutching onto his chest; fingernails scratching his skin in an attempt to catch air. His hands flapped in the darkness, but the hands became stronger with pulling him down. And the second time that he opened his mouth, water rushed in.

He kicked the hands like some kid struggling to get away from bullies and to swim back to the surface. But even though the hands disappeared a second later, swimming to reach the surface seemed to be so far away.

_"Goyong!"_  he heard his brother and his friends calling out for him. They helped him back to the shore, breathing heavily in panic.

Tears welled on his eyes as he stared at the ground beneath; him on his hands and knees, just as how a dog is, too different from an eagle which soars the sky with great freedom.

He was crying, when the realization hit him,  _"Kuya! Mamamatay ako!"_


	2. Julian del Pilar

When Goyo shook him awake in the middle of the night, he knew that there was something wrong. He tried reading the situation first—waiting for the distress if ever they were under attack—but there hadn't been any; just Goyo's soft-spoken voice as he was being distrub from his slumber. He knew at that moment on that something was troubling Goyo. And he didn't ask, knowing that his brother would not even say anything; instead, he allowed him with whatever plan that the younger del Pilar has.

But the moment that the two of them even woke Vicente, and the latter calling out for Joven; he knew that his brother was up to something. It was only by the time that they reached the riverbank that he had seen the glee on Goyo's eyes when they've been blanketed by a shadow earlier on. He suddenly remembered his baby brother—the one he had vowed to protect and support with all he got.

"Mahuli walang bayag!" Goyo shouted, already stripping from his nightclothes to be abandoned by the shore. Like a child, hurrying right away to the freezing water.

"Mauna tarantado!" he replied back, following thereafter as Vicente came last, commenting, "Tangina! Ang ginaw!"

Joven stayed by the bank, guarding their abandoned clothes. But at that moment on, the three of them that had dipped onto the water... memories of their childhood returned. The three of them with the rest of their other brothers in Bulacan.

A gunfire echoed a few minutes later, causing Julian to panic and shout. He immediately hurried to the shore, Vicente on tow, as he screamed that they weren't the enemies but comrades. "Walang hiya," he mumbled in anger as he removed one of the soldier's hat; surprised to see—"Juan?!"

"Pinsan?!"

"Tarantado. Sa kulay naming 'to, mukha ba kaming Amerikano?" He pointed at Vicente. "Ayan si Vicente. Muntik mo na kaming mabaril! Ayon si Goyong!" He pointed at the riverbank, suddenly realizing his younger brother's absence.

He panicked. He would never forgive himself if something wrong happened to his baby brother with him present. He was about to run back to the water despite the darkness when Goyo finally appeared. He hurried to help him, steadying him as he always does.

The younger del Pilar was shaking so much when he screamed with audible fear on his voice, in-between his struggle to catch his breathe, "Kuya! Mamamatay ako!"

"Buhay na buhay ka, Goyo," remarked Vicente.

Julian only looked at him with no idea what to do. He knew at that moment on that Goyo heavily depended on him. But still...

"Kuya, babalik ka ba talaga ng Bulacan?" his younger brother asked, curious and afraid; still shaken.

He sighed heavily. "Kailangan, Goyong."

The younger del Pilar didn't say anything else after that. However, for Julian, he knew that he should have done something. For if something bad happens to Goyo with or without him present, he'll certainly blame himself for it.


	3. Vicente Enriquez

If there was someone who was a fool among them, it would be Goyo. No one will be so stupid to urge a swim in the freezing river at midnight wherein they could easily be hinted by their own comrades on patrol as an enemy. And he had been right with that intuition that they were almost shot by soldiers of their own, despite having Joven by the shore. After all, with all of them living in a world where anyone can betray anyone... one must not take chances too easily.

"Tarantado. Sa kulay naming 'to, mukha ba kaming Amerikano?" Julian was scolding his own cousin for the mistake, all the while Vicente was snickering his disappointment. "Ayan si Vicente. Muntik mo na kaming mabaril! Ayon si Goyong!"

Vicente shivered when silence followed that remark. His eyes widened as if that would be enough to see much better in the darkness, but even he could trust his eyes to see clearly that there wasn't anyone in the river.

Julian was the first one to rush back to the river, him trailing, already panicking the same way as the others present. After all, how would they explain it to everyone if something happened to Goyo? How could they say that their general perished after being mistaken for an American, with them swimming at midnight?

Puñeta, Goyo. It was his mind praying for Goyo's safety; since he already felt the radiating guilt that was slowly building within Julian.

A few seconds later, Goyo sprouted from the water. Without any hesitation, he and Julian took him back to the shore. He could swore that this was the first time that he had seen Goyo completely nervous, afraid, shaken—everything. The young general's face was white as sheet as he kept his breathing even, trying to calm himself down on his own when he was visibly trembling and he was audibly crying when he stated, "Kuya! Mamamatay ako!"

"Buhay na buhay ka, Goyo," he replied, unsure why he was at the end of his wits to laugh at this moment when Goyo almost died drowning. But the moment the words were out of his mouth, he couldn't help but feel guilty about it. Since he knew that the day would come that all of them would die. It was just that someone dies sooner rather than later.

Tragedy was no longer new for Vicente. He had lost Analecto during the earlier wars. To hear Goyo, the same man who've idolized his brother, saying that he was about to die... it was like seeing his own brother dying right in front of him.

On that incident, he had reaffirmed his vow in the memory of his Kuya Analecto. That he would fight until his last breath for Goyo—not as the Boy General or the President's favorite or because he must as his aide-de-camp. But because Goyo is a brother. And he would not allow himself lose another just because of this war.


	4. Joven Hernando

Ever since that incident during the Battle of Calumpit, Joven became a light-sleeper. A single sound easily made him bolt upright from bed as if he had always been anticipating for a war. That was the reason why it had been too easy to wake him from his sleep with just a tap of a pebble that had been thrown against the window.

He grudgingly pulled himself from bed, rubbing away the sleep from his eyes as he drew closer to the window and looked below to see Vicente grinning. He was along with General del Pilar and Colonel del Pilar. (Weird to find the younger del Pilar as a much higher ranking official than the other.) But the three were expectant of him—the General uplifted, the Colonel almost sulking as he tried to keep himself awake, and Vicente completely ecstatic. The latter had been the one behind the pebble-throwing and invitation to drag him onto the three officers' midnight excursion.

Yawning, he followed the three on the way that was slightly outside of town. He was even dragged by Vicente now and then as they tried to avoid being spotted by the Filipino soldiers patrolling the area. And in the end, upon reaching the riverbank, the three immediately stripped and dived onto the freezing water without any hesitation at all. Perhaps, they didn't need to worry since the General himself was the first one to dip into the river, albeit the cold.

He was then asked to come join them, but Joven was so tired that he just sat by the bank. The three officers' nightclothes just close to him. He replied, "Kayo na lang. Dito na lang ako. Bantay."

Colonel del Pilar laughed. "Baka magka-kulitiw ka diyan. Nakahubad kaming lahat dito."

He couldn't help but to smile. It wasn't because of the comment, but because how it had been too real to find out that the snappy officials he had met turned out to have soft and huge hearts. For him, this was a rare sight that only a few managed to see. And yet... the memory of the Bernal brothers continue pressing against his thoughts.

All of a sudden, something behind him caused the leaves to rustle and there came the gun fire that destroyed the relaxed situation. The two colonels immediately jumped away from the river, made themselves known, and scolded the two guards for their insolence.

It took the four a moment to recognize that the General was no longer around; but Joven, who've said that he would be doing the watch, realized it right away. However, he was so unsure of what to do that he wasn't able to say anything. He doesn't know if he was to panic or what; but he breathed out a sigh of relief the moment that they've all ensured that the General was alive and would live another day.

And yet, the worries didn't end right away. For the General was so white as if he had seen a ghost. And he was shaking. So feeble. So weak. So helpless. And his voice was so pained that there was no doubt that he was crying.

"Kuya! Mamamatay ako!"

"Buhay na buhay ka, Goyo," Vicente noted.

But he'll never forget that. That stance and look of being on the end of his own wits.

Joven prayed that this war will not cost another futile death. He had known enough; and these three had earned a friend out of him. He knew that if one was to bid farewell later on because of this war, no one from them would be the same ever again. And upon seeing the friendship that the three has... it broke his heart thinking that people of their time's lives were like books with not enough pages for their happy endings.

**Author's Note:**

> Among all the scenes in the movie, I consider this scene as the most powerful and also one of my favourites. Basically, all we see in the movie is the perspective of Goyo. I wonder how will the others then react about that particular scene, resulting to this.


End file.
